IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL AMIDST THE VIOLENCE

Normally I only write about our boys' exploit after their games wether they win, lose or draw. But in light of the increase of violence amongst males ranging from young teenager to young adult within the province of Ontario, I felt compelled to write a few lines as our boys enter grade 8.

How strange and alarming that this voilence hits home immediately at an elementary school in Milton Ontario. One 13 year old boy in police custody and two taken to hospital after an altercation erupted  into a violient knife incident.

In the confines of the school walls our boys are taught academically using a pedagogy method. It will allow them to move forward onto high school and eventually college or university the choice will be theirs. They have all the physical resources, teachers and administrators who will assist them in the process upon the pathway towards higher education. 

My concern however, is not about the education pathway or their soccer progression if I am privileged to mention that. It's how they are being taught to navigate life from a confrontation perspective for example, in the hallway, on the streets, at the mall and dealing with peer pressure... who's responsiblity is it:

Is it the video games?
Is it the inappropriate behavior by some soccer players on the field?
Is it the vulgar behavior by politicians at times?
Is it that some parents had been neglecting parental control?
Is it just left up to the teacher?
Or we could just say kids today especially boys are now out of control and resort to inappropriate behaviors resulting in actual voilent acts.

I beg to differ on all accounts that even though some of what is written above might be true, it is not the reason for the issues we are witnessing within the male teenage fraternity.

First let me say that I don't hold a degree in any of the relevant fields that should qualify me to write on such a sensitive matter. On the other hand, being educated in four different countries plus a very concerned parent should allow me an opportunity to have an opinion based upon exposure, experience and age.

Most of our boys spend time watching video games, my son no exception. In video games, conflicts are only solved by acts of violence. These methods use either guns or knives. When we listen to the news, read online or in the paper these are the same types of weapons used from video games. Could they be just carrying out acts of assimilation?

Watching soccer games at times we all see some players demonstrating aggressive behaviour towards their opponents. Case in point, the TFC game that the team attended. There was a blatant act demonstrated by one player on another which proved costly for him and jeopardize his teams chance of success. Physical aggressive behaviour normally results in consequences.

Is our elected officials setting the correct example for the boys whose parents elected them. They often demonstrated peer pressure tendencies towards opposition and languages spoken could be considered as being that of bullies. Seen publicly by our boys who might just mimic this towards their peers. How do we attempt to correct such public inappropriate behaviors?

On the flip side, what can I say about parents without incriminating my own self in the process. Hearing conversations from a lot of parents about how much time they actually spent driving on the road due to traffic congestion, which could be utilized in family moment. Also, parents are we neglecting our boys (kids) because of meaningless social media postings hence so much time on our electronic communications devices and yet no communication to the person beside you; whomever it is. Watching our favourite TV shows routinely and religiously while they might be engaged in a different room with us having no clue as to their exact action. Give them the brand of their liking to be worn outwardly and nothing is wrong in doing so... I wish someone back then had told my parents. Lastly, on parents the skills, tactics, tone of voice and reprimand method that is very successful on one child might have no effect whatsoever on another. In other words for every child, boy or girl the blueprints are different. Parents, lets be parents first and best of friends will follow after.

Then there are the teachers whom our boys spend the most important and productive part of their day with. Get to know who is influencing their minds, assisting in crucial and delicate decision making that can influence lives forever. Be mindful at home the type of conversation said about someone who is involved in your son's life, even if they are not participating they are hearing. Believe it or not they will react based upon our point of view. Lets be positive in conversation.

We could say our boys are the greatest because they are safe from what is going on within our community/society/country. We must have done something correct for this to be a reality and those that are involved parents failed. FALSE!! As a parent you can give your all, do all that you are supposed to and the kids especially boys still get in with the wrong group. So how do we prevent this from happening? We must consistently and constantly talk with them and by that I mean there will be times when as a parent all we do is listen attentively. Be willing as well to say daddy or mommy made a mistake... the teaching and learning starts at home.

The facts are glaring us in the face, according to an article by Graeme Frisque, he stated that according to Peel Police the robbery spree in the GTA was being carried out by youths. Stats Canada said that if the trend continues it will be the worst relating to youths and teenager crimes.

These are some of the suggestions proposed by Mayors, Chief of Police and policymakers:

The hiring of more front line officers are suggested as the answer to the problem in some quarters, are they going to be in the elementary schools. Moreso, if that familiarity is developed now, in my opinion it eradicates any form of respected fear later on in life that is an unspoken tool of law enforcement officers. The USA uses such ideas in Miami and Chicago and coincidentally they are two of the worst states with teenage voilence. Two weeks ago in Chicago, three died ages 13, 14 and 15. Does it work... history now proves that show of strength is no longer intimidating.

Others are saying make recreation sports more affordable for parents of youths. I totally endorsed such a move, take into account what we pay for our boys to play in the OPDL. It is widely speculated that it is done deliberately to keep some kids out. Could it be possible that some of those same boys getting into trouble is because parents cannot afford the cost. Sad if it's true.

This one totally discombobulated me, the increase of crisis outreach centres and support team programs. There is an old saying, "that after the horse has gone through the gate, it is difficult to recapture". Suffice me to say, why is emphasis not being placed on preventative measures to ensure that the need for crisis centres be aborted. Martin H. Fisher states that knowledge is a process of piling up facts; wisdom lies in their simplification. Are we using facts to create these centres, instead of using wisdom to open dialogues before incidents.

What I would propose, if in the capacity to do so, is in collaboration with Friedrich Durrenmatt, "what was once thought can never be unthought." Therefore, let us all as parents begin at home by being honest, respectful, considerate, responsible, cooperative, truthful, loving, unbiased and display fairness to our kids (boys are both victims and perpetrators) the list could continue but I just selected those. Furthermore, we as parents are all affiliated one way or another to religious beliefs, all my reading on the subject quite extensively speaks about love and peace only in different languages. Let us make a difference in how they leave home to interact.